Archive for the 'TV' Category
Guilty Pleasures
Rebecca August 12th, 2008
1) I love, love, love to eat Nutella right out of the jar. It doesn’t last long in my house, which would be why I never have it around. A jar of creamy peanut butter fares only slightly better.
2) One of my favorite CDs is Seals & Crofts’ Greatest Hits. Yep. It was an important part of the soundtrack of my childhood, along with Carly Simon’s Hotcakes, Linda Ronstadt’s Heart Like A Wheel, and, in a fit of parental eclecticism, Willie Nelson’s Stardust. Whenever I hear the opening guitar chords of “Diamond Girl” or “Summer Breeze” I smile and turn up the volume. And then I ignore the desperate pleas of my companions to turn it back down.
3) Don’t listen to me for a single second if I bash reality TV in your presence. I’m a devoted fan of Bravo’s “Top Chef“. I can’t get enough of the food, the clashing personalities and the resulting drama. Also, Ilan Hall is a bitch.
4) I get sucked into watching The Color Purple every time I find it on television. I don’t care that it’s one of Steven Spielberg’s weaker efforts, or that he left out most of the lesbian love story in Alice Walker’s novel. I’m elated every time I watch Shug Avery sing her way into her father’s arms, and I always tear up when Celie finally reunites with Nellie in the field of flowers.
5) Odd card games. Okay, I have no reason to feel guilty about loving to play these, but since I’ve yet to find a group of contemporaries who want to deal a few rounds of hand and foot or contract rummy, my Friday nights have deteriorated into a blur of sex and drugs and rock n’ roll. Alright, not really, but that sounds better than a quiet evening with a good book and bedtime by 11pm.
It’s not just for satire anymore.
Rebecca July 10th, 2008
One of my favorite, most trusted sites for movie reviews is…The Onion. No, really. The Onion’s AV Club offers movie, music, book, game and food reviews, all written with the same sense of humor that spawns headlines like “School Bully Not So Tough Since Being Molested”. It’s one of those special places on the Internet where dick jokes are integral to a serious discussion of Ingmar Bergman’s films. I find myself agreeing with the film reviews more often than not, and I’ve discovered some great reads thanks to Words. Plus, there are a number of regular features like My Year of Flops and Popless that introduce everyone to forgotten gems of popular (and not-so-popular) culture.
I bring this up not just to add some content to this blog (a minor worry behind the scenes of late), but because today’s The New Cult Canon is a classic. Okay, so maybe Road House itself isn’t exactly a classic, but the writing here is. The AV Club has some of the funniest comments–and commenter usernames–out there; between them and reviewer Scott Tobias’ humorously thoughtful examination of the movie’s not-so-latent homoeroticism, I almost want to watch it.
Almost. I’m not sure I’m ready for the spectacle of Ben Gazzara wearing an ascot and a fedora and driving a monster truck.
- Movies , Music , Reading , TV
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Clickity Clack
Matt July 9th, 2008
As the Wrench Turns premiers on PBS tonight. If any of you watch it, let me know how it is. (No PBS stations at the casa)
COME ON!
Rebecca June 22nd, 2008
I know I’m a week late to the party, but this…
With gas prices escalating, sales are growing. One Segway dealer identified as one of its top five in the U.S. — Riva Motorsports of Pompano Beach, Fla. — sold almost 200 in 2006, 250 in 2007 and 175 in the first five months of 2008, said Riva spokesman Matt Sermarini. “Anything that seems to be economical on fuel or doesn’t use fuel at all, people are definitely researching and buying,” Sermarini said.
…is ridiculous. For five grand, the able bodied could buy more than one bicycle for their household, saving both gas and money. Besides, I know I’m not the only person who, when I see a Segway, is immediately reminded of this guy:
Commuting to work is annoying enough without becoming a punchline on some blog.
Battlestar GalacticOMG
Matt April 4th, 2008
One of my favorite shows from the past few years is back for it’s final season tonight. While you too might enjoy it, or merely know of it from acquantances, I must ask that you observe radio silence and do not utter a word about tonight’s show.
Having only discovered Battlestar in the past year or so, I missed the start of season 3 on Sci-Fi and, being the completest that I am, I refused to watch any of season 3 until I could do so from the beginning. For your Frasiers, Seinfelds and How I Met Your Mothers out there, missing the start of the show is usually no big deal, but in dramas if you miss an episode you can suddenly find yourself asking “Why the fuck is that guy wearing an eyepatch?” and having absolutely no context.
So, while I am overjoyed that I have another season to look forward to, season 4 will have to wait on my TiVo until I watch season 3 on Sci-Fi’s webpage (which they’ve only recently added, or else I’d have been caught up by now).
To sum up: ruin this season for me and I will fuck your shit up!
**UPDATE**
ARGH! Why didn’t someone tell me that season 3 FINALLY came out on DVD? Well, at least I’ll have something to do this weekend.
Must See TV!
Rebecca March 29th, 2008
If you want to see me, anyway. Starting this Monday, PBS is airing three episodes of Antiques Roadshow taped in Spokane last summer. Keep an eye on the people in the background; I’ll either be creeping through the crowd or featured in one of the Feedback Booth segments at the end of the program. I’m easy to recognize. I’m the wild-eyed gibbering idiot security is escorting off the set after an unfortunate incident involving a Zulu spear, the Keno twins and a ham sandwich.
Pack Your Knives
Rebecca March 11th, 2008
I get pretty snotty about reality TV, but you should never take my attitude seriously. I’m proud to say I’ve never, ever watched a single episode of American Idol and I’m schoolgirl-giddy about tomorrow night’s season premiere of…
The drama! The food! The scar! The foam! The fights! I can’t wait. I can taste the sweat in the beurre noisette now.
A Fünke Sense of Humor
Rebecca March 9th, 2008
I’m a lucky girl because I have some amazing friends with a twisted sense of humor. For example, this card was attached to one of my birthday gifts last week. Hopefully someone at Amazon had a good chuckle when it came out of the printer.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised there aren’t that many photos tagged with “analrapist” on Flickr.
- Humor , Photos , TV
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This Post Might Be Longer Than the Oscars’ Telecast
Matt January 30th, 2008
Courtesy of Matthew at Defective Yeti, sporky.net is once again participating in an Oscar pool. Whether or not we’ll see a full Oscar airing, an abbreviated airing or be reading a press release, we are nonetheless interested in seeing which way those asshats in the academy are swaying this year.
So, speculate with us now and weep with us on the 25th. Last year we had a small private bet of a can of string cheese and some crackers for the winner; this year we’re offering up a brick of Cabot Cheddar Cheese and possibly something more (?) to the victor. If you are participating, make sure to leave a comment here with your statement of intent and then get your game on! May the best man win while the rest of us wallow in self-pity.
We Women Want Weddings
Matt January 24th, 2008
Ah. The We channel: Women’s entertainment. Now I know that the channel is for women and that most men would rather gnaw off their leg than willingly watch it, but the fact of the matter is that once in a while a woman will get her hands on the remote and the hapless man will be forced to sit forlornly by and watch whatever horrors unfold on the screen before him. Have you noticed the “original” programming on We? Go on, have a look, I’ll wait a second or two.
Okay, see anything odd about the schedule? Maybe if you’re young, single, family minded and more than a little demented you won’t see anything out of the ordinary. The rest of civilization I think would see things a little differently.
Are weddings the common denominator for women? As a man, do I really misunderstand women so much that I would find it hard to believe that a network for women would have almost 1/2 of their programming devoted to hitching up? Are weddings a woman’s main thought when the phrase “have more fun” comes to mind? Call me crazy, but shouldn’t the programming be more about the daily lives of women, rather than the (hopefully) one day and several weeks or months leading up to a wedding? Wouldn’t this programming be better suited for, oh, say a channel entirely devoted to weddings?
Whatever. I know I’m not the demographic. But all of this comes from having to watch a single episode of Rich Bride Poor Bride. I present to you now the synopsis for the show, which I will then give you a few extra details for:
Got that? This Ashley and Frank are already living with Ashley’s mother and on top of this the mother, Lynda, is paying for the wedding. Some people get the carrot, some get the stick… So, as I’m watching on in horror, wondering why Ashley would marry this potentially semi-retarded Frank (seriously, dude has issues), my thoughts soon turned as to why this dorky manchild would marry this stuckup, overbearing Ashely. But that’s neither here nor there - they both have a freaky dynamic and I look forward to seeing them on Divorce Court in 9-14 months.
Did I mention that they only registered at one store? These people did not live in a rural setting, they did have all their teeth and she even had a fake tan and if he had a fake tan and slicked back his hair (and, okay, knew how to dress himself) he’d be about ::this:: close to being called a guido. Lord knows that Wal*Mart is certainly a practical place to shop, but to be the one-stop registry? The clincher? This whole affair set Lynda back $40,000. Call me crazy, but wouldn’t a $2,000 wedding (okay, maybe $5,000 with a smaller guest list and a pot-luck sort of meal given the family) and the rest of the money given as a nest egg had been better suited?
And therein lies the rub. Men think that way about everything while the type of women that watch We are dreaming of riding horses on a beach to the altar or being married in Saint Patrick’s cathedral by the age of 8. Keep on dreaming, keep on keepin’ on.
Oh, and don’t even get me started on SPIKE Tv’s schedule…
Sick Again
Rebecca January 8th, 2008
I’m home sick from work. I’ve been in this state since Saturday: sore throat, clogged sinuses, a cough that starts at the arches of my feet and ultimately rattles the light fixtures. Luckily, I have half a bottle of codeine-laced cough syrup left from last year’s bout with bronchitis. I’ve spent the last four days in a pleasantly mild opiate haze spiked with the citrus notes of Lemon Zinger tea and Halls cough drops. During this downtime, I’ve watched movies (Pirates of the Caribbean 3, The Science of Sleep, Serpico, La Vie en Rose*), posted commentary all over the Interweb (everywhere except where I should, ahem), finished one book (The Discovery of France by Graham Robb) and started another (Ian McEwan’s Saturday), and caught the season premiere of my beloved “Antiques Roadshow” (dammit, they’re not going to be anywhere near me this summer). I also watched the return of Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert without their writers last night.
Did you see either? Boy oh boy, I’m not sure if anyone on TV is funny anymore without their writers. Oh sure, both men had their moments, like Colbert’s introduction of a show with nothing on it, but…overall? Meh. The highlight was Andrew Sullivan’s appearance on Colbert. Apparently I haven’t been paying enough attention to the chattering classes lately. I had no idea he left the Republican Party for our team. He was there to discuss his article about Barack Obama in December’s Atlantic Monthly. Watching him, I came to the conclusion that someone (Hello, Bill Maher?) needs to have both Sullivan and Christopher Hitchens on their show to debate the issues raised by Obama’s candidacy. Or, if you’re like Hitchens and believe any reference to race is “pathetic and embarrassing”, debate the very existence of such issues in the first place.
Anyway, enough codeine-fueled rambling. I’m off to watch some daytime TV. BBC America is airing back-to-back episodes of “How Clean Is Your House?“. I have a deeply masochistic need to be upbraided–via a hapless English proxy–on my housecleaning skills. If I’m lucky, “Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares” will air later this afternoon. Lord knows I need more BLEEP! in my life.
*Marion Cotillard is amazing, just amazing as Edith Piaf. Even though I gave La Vie only three stars on Netflix, those three were entirely due to her performance.
Don’t Wait Until Xmas
Rebecca December 24th, 2007
Open your present from me now. Via Kottke, here’s a clip of the Beatles’ “A Hard Day’s Night” as performed by Peter Sellers imitating Sir Laurence Olivier in Richard III.
Whew. That’s a mouthful. Now go get yourself some fudge and watch this.
Merry Christmas!
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Sweeney Odd
Rebecca December 9th, 2007
The holiday movie season is here. By that I mean not necessarily movies about Christmas (forget the loaves and fishes, if I believed in the divinity of the Baby Jesus I’d ask him to perform the miracle of the Tim Allen-Santa Clause franchise termination), but interesting, intelligent, creative films that get awards, critical acclaim or eventual cult status. You know, the kind of stuff that won a Palme d’Or at Cannes, generated some buzz at Sundance, has indie street cred, and might be an Oscar contender in the spring. It’s the kind of stuff I see in the theaters now so I know what I’m talking about at my annual Oscar party.* Patia and I went to The Darjeeling Express a month ago, last weekend I saw No Country for Old Men, and this Tuesday I’m going to Lust, Caution. I’m halfway tempted to see Atonement because, despite my vocal hatred of chick flicks, I’m really a sucker for sweeping historical romances. Don’t be fooled by me. I always watch Cold Mountain when it’s on TV.
One of the movies I’m really looking forward to seeing is this one:
That hairstyle brings back a lot of memories for me because that’s the ‘do I sported in high school in an effort to look like, well, this guy:
Meet Dave Vanian, lead singer of The Damned. They were my favorite band back then. Yes, that’s right. I was a little Goth girl. (If I knew anyone with a scanner I’d post a picture of myself at seventeen. You and I would chuckle about it over drinks later.) I spent most of my adolescence listening to Strawberries and Machine Gun Etiquette at top volume, and trying to get the bleached streak in my dyed-black hair exactly right. Today, age and genetics have conspired to make looking like that a lot easier. The silver streak is coming naturally now, but for some strange reason it’s not nearly as Goth-y as I hoped. I can’t imagine why. Maybe it’s because I haven’t aged well, and the rest of me looks like this:
*I have five stages of drunkenness: convivial, horny, belligerent, philosophical and vomit. As I get older, I find myself going straight from friendly to upchuck more often than not**, but occasionally I bottom out at belligerence–with sometimes hilarious, usually disastrous consequences. Thus it was at this year’s Oscar party, when for the first time since probably 1975, I could not watch the telecast. Something happened to our local ABC affiliate’s transformer that night, and the screen was black until fifteen minutes before the end of the broadcast. In the meantime, we amused ourselves with alcohol, snacks, alcohol, “Pants Off Dance Off”, and more alcohol. It wasn’t a total loss, but later that night I phoned the station and, fueled by a liter of Pinot grigio, gave them a piece of my mind: an incoherent, rambling, expletive-laced ten minute rant about generally being a useless television network and, having only one real responsibility, fucked it up and ruined this viewer’s life.
**I know this is a bad sign, so don’t lecture me about it.
- Celebrity , Movies , Music , TV
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Tonight We’re Gonna Party Like It’s November 30th
Rebecca November 30th, 2007
First, inspired by Jen, a little haiku:
Feeling ambitious
thirty-two posts in a month.
Finally! The end.
I haven’t been able to post on my other site in two weeks, that’s how empty my brain is. You guys got every last drop of me. Lucky you. So, let’s all celebrate the last day of NaBloPoMo. Everyone put on your dancing shoes. In the immortal words of my Grandma’s hero, Lawrence Welk, “…and ah-one and ah-two and ah-three!”
- Humor , Site , TV
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