Archive for the 'News' Category

Ye Olde Homophobia

Rebecca June 28th, 2008

If you think a particular kind of idiocy is unique to the United States you would be wrong. Apparently England has its share of wingnuts too.

COME ON!

Rebecca June 22nd, 2008

I know I’m a week late to the party, but this…

With gas prices escalating, sales are growing. One Segway dealer identified as one of its top five in the U.S. — Riva Motorsports of Pompano Beach, Fla. — sold almost 200 in 2006, 250 in 2007 and 175 in the first five months of 2008, said Riva spokesman Matt Sermarini. “Anything that seems to be economical on fuel or doesn’t use fuel at all, people are definitely researching and buying,” Sermarini said.

…is ridiculous. For five grand, the able bodied could buy more than one bicycle for their household, saving both gas and money. Besides, I know I’m not the only person who, when I see a Segway, is immediately reminded of this guy:

Commuting to work is annoying enough without becoming a punchline on some blog.

Six Feet Under

Rebecca June 20th, 2008

Who cares if the sixth foot is a hoax? Now’s the time to take up beachcombing, and British Columbia’s the place.

President Pikachu Was Unavailable for Comment

Rebecca May 20th, 2008

Hello Kitty became Japan’s new tourism ambassador yesterday. There’s no word yet on what role the Little Twin Stars will play in the Administration.

Behold!

Matt May 7th, 2008

A Florida teacher is accused of wizardry.

If you want to really see something disappear, put me in a sealed room alone with naught but a block of muenster and prepare to be dazzled.

Terrorists’ Question Time

Rebecca May 6th, 2008

Ayman al-Zawahiri answers all the questions you never find in a Dear Abby column–like who should be the target of a jihad.

Birds of a Feather

Rebecca April 25th, 2008

Stories like this make me believe Louis Armstrong when he sings “What A Wonderful World”.

Quick, Someone Write a Part for Her in POTC4

Matt April 25th, 2008

I guess this cements the fact that I’m gonna watch this train until it finally goes up in flames, more troubles for Amy Winehouse. Warning: Do not click the second link if you’re feeling a bit weak in the stomach.

Gunga, Gunga-Galunga

Matt April 24th, 2008

Seeing how a certain country has been doing a swell job of keeping Tibet in the news lately, I bring to you this work of “journalism” done by Columbia student Christina Liu. Please note, I am pasting the entirety of the story in this post as the story has been retracted, for obvious reasons.

Continue Reading »

“News” Company Makes Ass of Itself, Film at 11

Matt April 24th, 2008

Continuing in what an objective onlooker might reasonably believe to be a game of oneupmanship between CNN and the New York Post for most ridiculous titles, CNN momentarily takes the lead:

Not only that, but you can get it on a t-shirt too. Bonus points if you’re of the feminine persuasion and happen to weigh 176, though depending on your measurements you might not even be able to buy the shirt in your size. Shame, really.

One Man’s Sklork is Another Man’s WTF

Matt April 15th, 2008

matt: here’s a gruesome headline from CNN: Man sklorks down 420 oysters in 10 mins.
matt: ew ew ew ew ew
rebecca: sklorks?
matt: don’t look at me, it’s not my headline
rebecca: well, we’ve seen me do 6 in 15 minutes
rebecca: i could probably do better given enough training
matt: so… yeah

And it seems that we were not the only two that took umbrage with the use of sklork - Andre Torrez, Kelly Chambers and a coworker of Rebecca’s noticed it as well.

As a parting, I leave you with the words of that coworker:

rebecca: there was a yell from another office: SKLORKS? WHAT THE HEY?

What the hey indeed.

I Left My Butt Plug in San Francisco

Rebecca April 10th, 2008

If you want to know why I love San Francisco, look no farther than this:

A trio of naked men, one wearing only a cock ring, mingled with a mother in sunglasses with a 11-month-old in a stroller all in the support of the same political cause: Tibet.

Do-Over

Matt March 6th, 2008

Show of hands, who didn’t see this one coming?

I’ll Suck Your Cock for A Thousand Dollars

Matt February 4th, 2008

Lord knows that this certainly wasn’t a surprise, but I get a kick out of this:

Police said the scheme was exposed when one of the girls’ mothers found a $20 bill and asked where she got the money.

Not $200, $2,000 or $2,000,000: $20. This would raise suspicions how? No excuse was ready other than ‘yeah, I’ve been blowing hypocrites for some extra cash’ ? I weep for our children.

Not-So-Smooth Criminal

Rebecca January 28th, 2008

slippers.jpg

Via Snarky, meet William Torres.

Police said Torres, whose last known address was 436 Turner St., Allentown, gunned down two men at Fourth and Allen streets last month. According to court documents, Torres admitted killing the men. Torres was driving on Turner Street Friday afternoon when he was pulled over by police and arrested. He was wearing a hooded sweartshirt with a skull-head pattern on it, pajama bottoms and fuzzy lion-faced slippers at the time.

Fuzzy lion-faced slippers–’cause that’s how he rolls.

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