Heckraiser!
Rebecca June 27th, 2008
Via Pajiba, check out this G-rated send up of horror movies. My favorite? SpongeBob SquarePants in The Exorcist.
Archive for the 'Movies' Category
I <3 Tilda’s Smirk
Matt June 2nd, 2008
Shit, man. I’ve been busy. With wha - with … stuff. Stuff. All right? Man, get off my back already. Here, watch this trailer for Burn After Reading.
Indiana Jones and th- Wait, Really?
Matt May 27th, 2008
Saturday I went to see the new Indiana Jones movie. I was young enough to have only seen the original three on Beta (remember those?) and VHS, so seeing the latest installment at the theater was a bit of a treat - like finishing a drumstick and finding that there’s still a few peanuts left in the package. And while at the time I thought the film was both better and worse than I expected, my overall feeling is that Lucas & Spielberg ultimately threw us, the fans, a few peanuts after they had their fill on the drumstick. Mindless fun, but ultimately disappointing if you stop and think about it.
There be spoilers below (mostly spoilers, so be warned).
Continue Reading »
It really ties this post together.
Rebecca May 25th, 2008
According to NPR–and Jeff Dowd–there’s a little Dude in all of us. Even in one of my favorites, hottie Gael Garcia Bernal.
The Netflix Review Revue*
Rebecca May 15th, 2008
In case you’re wondering what to watch–or what to avoid, as the case may be–this weekend, allow me to copy and paste some paragraphs from my Netflix notebook because I don’t feel like posting make a few suggestions.
My Best Fiend: The message of this movie in a nutshell? Klaus Kinski was one zany dude, man.
Once Upon A Time in America: It’s a fascinating mess that gets less fascinating and more mess by the end of the movie. Plus, Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute, does the soundtrack. ‘Nuff said.
Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead: I can’t recommend this movie highly enough. Hoffman, Hawke and Finney really pull your sympathies in all directions right until the tragic ending.
Lars and the Real Girl: This was a very, very sweet little movie. It’s more about dealing with love and loss than buying a sex doll; in fact, there’s no sex in it, nor is it an extended joke about sex toys.
Papillion: I saw this when I was a kid. For some reason, I remember it having a lot more leprosy. It’s…okay; it’s very dated in places.
The Postman Always Rings Twice: If it weren’t for Lange’s pubes and Nicholson’s ass, this movie would be just another Hallmark Hall of Fame production. There’s only a hour of film noir in there, and the rest is surprisingly boring.
Shoot ‘Em Up: It’s an exhilarating combination of silly entertainment and nihilism. It’s so over the top, with so many good actors chewing the scenery in the best possible ways, that it’s really hard not to smile.
Lagaan: What a silly, silly movie.
*I’ve shamelessly stolen the idea for this title from Matthew. Blame a serious case of bloggers’ block.
The Birds & The Bees (and the snails…)
Matt May 8th, 2008
Isabella Rossellini + Insects + Sex = Green Porno
- Aside , Celebrity , Movies , WTF?
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Gee, thanks Netflix.
Rebecca April 30th, 2008
Every time I jump on Netflix to mess with my queue, they recommend a particular movie to me.
From the description:
This documentary closely examines the sensationalized story of a man from Seattle who died from a ruptured colon after having sex with a horse in a barn. Director Robinson Devor transcends the shocking headlines to explore the circle of people who secretly possess an interest in bestiality.
I’m not sure what it was I watched that led to this curious suggestion. Could it have been The Postman Always Rings Twice? Maybe Eastern Promises? Or even Superbad? I guess I should be thankful. At least Netflix didn’t somehow obtain personal information from another movie site I visit frequently; the words “dom”, “leather” and “uncut” don’t appear anywhere in that synopsis.
Woof Woof Woof Woof
Matt March 21st, 2008
There is a brilliance to this mashup that I can’t quite describe. It highlights some of the plot points both movies share while also at once poking fun of and revering the dialog in ‘There Will Be Blood’. The clip drags a bit in a few spots, but it’s worth it to stick around to the very end (look for a cameo “appearance” by Howard Dean at 8:30).
*via kottke
- Aside , Humor , Movies
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Michael Clayton: A Breakdown
Matt February 26th, 2008
I’m a self-professed Tilda fan and I believe I might have squealed with glee when she won her Oscar. While I can see how Jason and others might have come to that conclusion, I just don’t see her character that way and I don’t think hers “was the only character who was insecure, emotional, and tentative.”
Spoilers below… Continue Reading »
Wilfred Brimley Starring in ‘Monopoly’
Matt February 20th, 2008
matt: UGH
rebecca: fuckin’ a
rebecca: do we really need more transformers movies?
rebecca: that’s it; i’m only watching foreign films from here on out
matt: monopoly in french isn’t going to be any better
- Aside , Chats , Movies
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This Post Might Be Longer Than the Oscars’ Telecast
Matt January 30th, 2008
Courtesy of Matthew at Defective Yeti, sporky.net is once again participating in an Oscar pool. Whether or not we’ll see a full Oscar airing, an abbreviated airing or be reading a press release, we are nonetheless interested in seeing which way those asshats in the academy are swaying this year.
So, speculate with us now and weep with us on the 25th. Last year we had a small private bet of a can of string cheese and some crackers for the winner; this year we’re offering up a brick of Cabot Cheddar Cheese and possibly something more (?) to the victor. If you are participating, make sure to leave a comment here with your statement of intent and then get your game on! May the best man win while the rest of us wallow in self-pity.
Atonement
Rebecca January 21st, 2008
Dear Tall Lady Who Sat in Front of Me at the 7pm Showing of "Atonement" Saturday at the Wilma Theatre,
I’m sorry. It just wasn’t your night, was it?
First you had to deal with me: someone who clearly was unhappy with your presence. Trust me, it wasn’t personal. You see, I have bad mojo when it comes to movie theaters; no matter where I sit in the house, unless it’s front row center, the tallest person in the room always, always chooses to sit in front of me. This wouldn’t be so bad, except that I’m only 5′1". (Well, one and a quarter inch, but who counts a quarter inch, right? That’s like a full-grown adult running around saying they’re "36 1/2!" You know, totally retarded.) Unless a theater has stadium seating it’s hard for me to see the stage or screen because I’m so short. When I’m on my own, I’ll sit right down in front. I’d rather put up with a strained neck than someone’s head obscuring a third of the screen. My friends know this. That’s why they steer me towards the middle of the house. They value their eyesight and their sanity. My rotten luck used to frustrate me, but now I just chuckle. I could pick a seat in the most isolated part of the theater and sure enough, a seven-foot tall, 400-pound man wearing a Zulu headdress will be drawn like a magnet to the chair in front of mine. So when I saw you and your friend enter, walk up and down the aisles, and head right for row O, seat 2, I began to laugh. I know I said "Oh, crap!" pretty loudly. I startled you. In the face of my rudeness you were gracious. You promised me you would scrunch down in your seat so I could see. Thank you.
I felt a twinge of guilt, but it was nothing compared to what I felt ten minutes later when the man in front of you turned around.
I hate it when people talk during movies. Oh, I understand from time to time everyone leans over to ask, "What did he say?" or "Who’s that?" The occasional comment or question is perfectly fine; I’m guilty of it myself. If you’re seeing a movie with someone it’s hard to go two hours without any kind of contact. (A whole conversation, though? That’s another thing entirely. When I saw Interview with the Vampire many years ago at the old Cine 3 two women sitting behind me launched into a blow-by-blow discussion of everything happening on the screen from the moment the opening credits started to roll. After fifteen minutes of listening to their Cliffs Notes version of the film, I turned around and said, "Excuse me? I didn’t pay good money to see Interview with the Two Women Behind Me. Shut up." Rude, yes, but it worked. Sure, I’m fairly certain they’re the ones who (deliberately?) spilled their Pepsi all over my purse at some point during the next two hours, but it felt good to tell them to put a sock in it.) I didn’t mind when I saw you briefly bend your head to your companion’s ear and whisper something. In fact, I couldn’t hear you at all. It was short and, after all, the movie had just started. Lots of people rustle and fidget during the credits. No big deal. That’s why I was appalled when that older gentleman whipped around and loudly addressed the two of you:
"WHY DON’T YOU SPEAK UP SO WE CAN ALL HEAR YOU?"
I’ll admit it, I jumped in my chair. Wow. I felt bad for you. I saw you lean forward and say something to him. I can only hope any frustration you might have felt after confronting me influenced your choice of words. I really hope you said what came naturally. Like, "Go fuck yourself!" It’s what I would have done. I would have told you so with an apologetic smile, but you and your friend quickly left the moment the end credits appeared on the screen. I don’t blame you.
By the way, the movie was pretty good, wasn’t it? I didn’t see that twist coming at the end. I went out and bought the book, I liked it so much. I wonder if it will win Best Picture. The kid, at least, should get an Academy Award.
Sincerely,
Rebecca
The Netflix Experiment Continues
Matt January 10th, 2008
My goal as a movie watcher is to watch everything that will hold the slightest interest to me. My particular tastes run towards romcoms, dramedys and sci-fi, but I’m willing to watch just about anything. Recently I added a slew of “controversial” movies onto my list; movies that I might not normally watch or even have the inclination to, however are now in my queue because I like to keep an open mind when it comes to film viewing.
So, after the break is my current Netflix queue. At 144 movies long, it isn’t short but believe it or not this very morning I culled some hundred-odd films from the list (mostly tv releases). Also, the order was randomized, save for the top five movies or so.
See a movie on here that you think should be moved up? See one that you can’t believe anyone with any modicum of sanity would watch? Have a suggestion that might fall in line when compared to the rest of the movies? I’m all ears.
Sick Again
Rebecca January 8th, 2008
I’m home sick from work. I’ve been in this state since Saturday: sore throat, clogged sinuses, a cough that starts at the arches of my feet and ultimately rattles the light fixtures. Luckily, I have half a bottle of codeine-laced cough syrup left from last year’s bout with bronchitis. I’ve spent the last four days in a pleasantly mild opiate haze spiked with the citrus notes of Lemon Zinger tea and Halls cough drops. During this downtime, I’ve watched movies (Pirates of the Caribbean 3, The Science of Sleep, Serpico, La Vie en Rose*), posted commentary all over the Interweb (everywhere except where I should, ahem), finished one book (The Discovery of France by Graham Robb) and started another (Ian McEwan’s Saturday), and caught the season premiere of my beloved “Antiques Roadshow” (dammit, they’re not going to be anywhere near me this summer). I also watched the return of Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert without their writers last night.
Did you see either? Boy oh boy, I’m not sure if anyone on TV is funny anymore without their writers. Oh sure, both men had their moments, like Colbert’s introduction of a show with nothing on it, but…overall? Meh. The highlight was Andrew Sullivan’s appearance on Colbert. Apparently I haven’t been paying enough attention to the chattering classes lately. I had no idea he left the Republican Party for our team. He was there to discuss his article about Barack Obama in December’s Atlantic Monthly. Watching him, I came to the conclusion that someone (Hello, Bill Maher?) needs to have both Sullivan and Christopher Hitchens on their show to debate the issues raised by Obama’s candidacy. Or, if you’re like Hitchens and believe any reference to race is “pathetic and embarrassing”, debate the very existence of such issues in the first place.
Anyway, enough codeine-fueled rambling. I’m off to watch some daytime TV. BBC America is airing back-to-back episodes of “How Clean Is Your House?“. I have a deeply masochistic need to be upbraided–via a hapless English proxy–on my housecleaning skills. If I’m lucky, “Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares” will air later this afternoon. Lord knows I need more BLEEP! in my life.
*Marion Cotillard is amazing, just amazing as Edith Piaf. Even though I gave La Vie only three stars on Netflix, those three were entirely due to her performance.
At Wit’s End
Rebecca January 6th, 2008
Because it makes me laugh, here’s my latest Netflix review:
“What” is the best word to describe this movie. As in, “what a mess”. Or, even better, “WTF?”
